Sunday, September 19, 2010

Top Ten Musings While Dog-Walking

10) If we installed outdoor dishwashers next to grills, would all these guys do the dishes too?

9) Shopping List: milk, cheese, bread, beer, George Clooney lookalike.

8) OMG! That cloud looks exactly like Sarah Palin hoisting a shotgun!

7) Six kids at once on a trampoline? If people needed a license to have kids, how many would be revoked?

6) Scientific Observation: The volume of a dog's bladder corresponds directly to the exact number of fence posts and bushes he passes.

5) And now I have to pee, too. Wonder if anyone would notice if I dropped trou right here on the path?

4) If was wearing makeup, black spandex shorts and a sports bra, I would totally look as good as that woman who just sprinted past me for the third time.

3) Hate heat! Hate humidity! Hate rain! Hate wind! Hate cold! Hate snow! Rather enjoy complaining.

2) I'll bet some of those women on Wife Swap secretly wish they could keep their temporary family.

1) Park levies would be more likely to pass if parks provided margarita fountains.


  1. LOL!!! Especially the last three--or first three. I'm laughing every time I re-read it.

  2. 10) HELL no they wouldn't...the dirty dishes would sit outside until they walked away on their own.

    9) MY Shopping List: milk, cheese, bread, more wine, beer, Matt Damon lookalike.

    8) Is it pointed near Russia?

    7) Would YOU have any kids??? And who the hell made trampolines that huge?

    6) Fantastic observation.

    5) I would have to tape it and post on my blog if you did it in my yard.

    4) Sprinting? Whatever. That word only applies if a bear is chasing you.

    3) Ditto!

    2) Perhaps the men want it too!

    1) Some frozen...some on the rocks. Divine!

  3. Murf: You re-read it? Well that's fine, but remember I only agreed to pay you once for reading this crap.

    Amanda: Haha, touche'... Maybe you need to do a guest post here sometime?