Monday, January 10, 2011

Top Ten Reasons It's OK to Give Up Those New Year's Resolutions

10) That Little Debbie Nutty Bar provides a gram of fiber and five grams of protein.

9) The world ends in 2012, so hike up those credit cards, baby!

8) The chance of sudden death during exercise is one in 15,000. You could be that one.

7) Giving up goals in January saves you eleven months of unhealthy stress.

6) Getting organized is fine--for the obsessive-compulsive.

5) Smoke three packs a day and never worry about saving for retirement.

4) Chubby people have less wrinkles.

3) Why look for a new job you'll soon hate when you can complain about the one you already have?

2) Hitler prided himself on self-discipline.

1) If Jesus wanted us to drink less alcohol, he wouldn't have turned water into wine.


  1. Okay, what the heck is a little Debbie Nutty Bar?

  2. Downith: You've never eaten a Nutty Bar? Oh, you haven't LIVED until you do! Not surprised they don't carry Little Debbies there in England, but I thought they might in Canada, which is where you're originally from, right? Nutty Bars are my favorite grocery store confection: chocolate-covered wafer bars layered with peanut butter. Well worth a New Year's Resolution failure.

  3. I agree with your choice of #1 turning the water into wine. All that wine can cover any concerns or imperfections found in the other nine reasons!

  4. mmmmm... Little Debbies.

    mmmmm... wine!

  5. Anon: Absolutely! Perhaps our New Year's resolutions should be "More Wine"?

    Bluz: Chocolate goes well with red, right?

  6. I'm clinging to #4 like nobody's business!

  7. Hilarious! And I'm with you guys on #4. Bobbi would tell us it's all about tradeoffs.

  8. Glasseye: Tradeoffs? Perfect! So can I trade the smooth and chubby for smooth and thin?