Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Top Ten Reasons to Delurk

Hello! Oh, it's you? Thanks for stopping by again! I would love to address each of you by name, except a crapload of you frequently stop by without introducing yourselves. What's up with that? (I'm talking especially to you, anonymous readers in Canada, the U.K., and Chase Bank.) (Regarding the latter: Please reassure me you're not just my creditors.)

Not that I mind your dropping in that way. (Unidentified guests are better than no guests at all). But I'm hoping this week will be different: I am told this is "International Blog Delurking Week." The theory is that formerly shy readers, or those who have apparently been afraid that commenting here might tarnish their image, will finally break down and let the rest of us know you're lurking out there, by leaving a comment.

Yes! Please do!

Why? I'll give you ten good reasons.


Top Ten Reasons for You to Delurk on This Blog

10) All commenters receive a free, personalized response, so your life will *finally* be complete!

9) My regular commenters are bound to start finding something more interesting and worthy of their time, such as cleaning the litterbox or sorting out their Tupperware drawer, and where will that leave me?

8) You will not be contacted by any third-parties, including insurance salesmen, vinyl siding companies or Jehovah's Witnesses.

7) I'll derive great comfort in knowing a few of my unidentified blog hits are actual readers who didn't just happen upon this site by Googling, "Is the cat peeing in the bathtub unhygienic?" or "syndrome for losing keys" or "burying dead bodies."

6) Commenting requires you only to provide your name, social security number and banking information. OK, perhaps just your name and how you found me here?

5) Commenting on a blog is like Paying It Forward; you get nothing in return except knowing the world is a better place for your actions. So basically, commenting here is a humanitarian effort that you sadly can't write off on your taxes.

4) I can only guess that you non-commenters are deviant stalkers with pin-ups of odd middle-aged women on your dilapidated apartment walls, and I will be forced to hire a really cheap attorney.

3) If you are not a deranged stalker, I will have to assume all unidentifiable blog hits are the actions of that relentless George Clooney, who refuses to leave me the hell alone.

2) A blog is like a party; everyone who attends is socially obligated to either bring the hostess a bottle of wine or at least say "hello" when they show up. (Your choice. If you prefer to send me wine, I'm totally good with that.)

1) After just one comment, you will gain fame and wealth, lose ten pounds and be featured on the cover of People magazine!*

*not a lifetime warranty

Do us both a favor during International Delurking Week, won't you, and enter and sign in, please?

Are you experiencing technical difficulties when you try to comment? (If so, email me.) Should I have offered prizes, like a free, chronically irritable cat? Regular commenters won't forsake me for your Tupperware drawer this week, will you?

41 comments:

  1. As always Sherry, you keep me smiling. If you're passing out cats, I have 3 to donate. Let's take the dogs for a walk sometime.... ~Marion I'm not really anonymous, just technically challenged.

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    1. Marion: (For the rest of you--Marion is one of my favorite old high school friends, and fortunately we later reconnected.) I knew you were out there, but thanks for being the first to step up to the blog plate. Glad I still make you smile; you always did the same for me. Ringo is totally displeased with my slovenly ways, so yes, let's walk the dogs. I'll email you soon.

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  2. Funny... I've been waiting for the last 8 months for January 14th to roll around as National DeLurker Day, and now you say they've made it into a week? Bastards!

    I'm still going to do a DeLurker Day on Saturday, because I have the same questions you do... namely "Who the hell are all these people that show up regularly but never say anything? Do they like it or are they just taking notes to use against me later?"

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    1. Bluz: Since I comment regularly at your place you know I love you, but I am definitely taking notes to use it all against you later. Sorry.

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  3. OK, I give, I'll delurk. I live in BG, not far from you. I found you while researching writing workshops and I haven't introduced myself because I'm just shy enough that the idea of "intruding" on someone's comments makes me freeze up. So, since you asked, and granted permission... HI!!!

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    1. Jeanne: Someone comes out from the shadows, and she's practically my neighbor? And I'm doubly pleased that you found me by Googling "writing workshops" rather than "how to bury dead bodies." Did you find a good workshop? If not, email me and I can make a couple recommendations. Thanks for delurking, and I hope you'll chime in again soon!

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  4. I'm not sure I'm a lurker; I think I've left some comments here once or twice. And I know you've stopped by my humble place a couple of times too.

    I recently won a ceramic mug over at another blog I visited. Those who left comments were entered in the contest. I won, but I wasn't delurking there. As the blog owner said, I was her "oldest reader" which could have multiple meanings, but I digress.

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    1. Paul: A mug is nice and all, but what you probably were wishing for was a chronically irritable cat, true? And yes, you did leave a comment or two here a while back--thanks for jumping back in! I'll be sure to stop by your place soon!

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  5. I didn't know this was delurking week . . . Huh. Maybe I should mention it over at my place, but I'm afraid to find out how many of my hits are blocked spambots.

    And I will never, ever leave you in favor of changing the kitty litter or organizing anything, I swear.

    George Clooney is blogstalking you? That two timer . . .

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    1. Sarah: Well, sure, I guess they COULD be spambots, but I'm fairly certain most of our mysterious blog hits are from Clooney. He just never leaves comments. It's that whole commitment issue.

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  6. I didn't know it was delurking week either. Thank God it's not de-shirking week or I might have to start posting again.

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    1. Downith: "De-shirking!" Ha! Yes, thank God no one's calling us out on that, or we'd all be screwed for one thing or another. However, speaking of your posting again... *sigh*

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  7. I love #5 and agree wholeheartedly.
    Thanks for the giggle this morning. I really needed it.

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    1. MSB: You're welcome for the giggle. And thank you for making the world a better place.

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  8. I googled...
    'George Clooney Ringo Piss'

    and found you.

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    1. Amanda: The interesting thing about The Google and The Interwebs is that months from now, if someone actually googles that, it will bring them directly to this site. I imagine I'll get tens of thousands of hits from those particular keywords.

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  9. Blog Delurking Week?! I love it--and I had no idea!

    I like #2 in particular, having always thought of our group's blog visits like mini-parties.

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    1. Erika: So glad I can count on you to say "hi" at the party--you're always a favorite guest. But did you bring any wine?

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  10. And here I recently decided to do more lurking and less talking. Are you the devil on my shoulder?

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    1. Teri: I have indeed been called the devil on one's shoulder once or twice. But in this case, I'm influencing you for the good of the entire blogosphere.

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  11. My first visit to your blog -- found you via Erika Marks! Nice to meet you and to stumble onto Blog Delurking Week. And I'm with Erika on her comment -- love #2, blogs really are like a party :)

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    1. Julia: Welcome to the party! Sometimes we sit in the formal living room and drink wine, and other times we retreat to the smokey basement to do shots. Hope you'll have fun either way. So glad you stopped by and introduced yourself. (Erika--Thanks for being the conduit.)

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  12. You should watch what you wish for. I'm actually signed on from Bahrain, which is interesting, because Bluz's blog, for instance has a big "banned" sign in Arabic when I try from here. At least I think it says "banned"--it's all in red and looks like if I keep pressing buttons, I fear the banging on the door will soon follow... But now I wonder if I was one of your U.K.'s - about a month ago? I could have just as easily been a simple Waterville hit around Christmas.

    But you're NOT being censored by Bahrain?! Sherry, you're just not trying hard enough! Let's have a few more drunken mom type stories - I'm guessin' maybe a few like those would get notice here... that or a heathenish blog title (!)

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    1. JK: A safe assumption that this is my old schoolmate John, keeping that low incognito military profile... Bahrain, huh? And you say I'm not censored there? Guess I'm looking at a revised New Year's resolution. Hadn't heard from you in many months, John, so thanks for taking the time to say hi. Be safe!

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  13. هل تود المساهمة في ويكيبيديا والحصول على مبلغ 500 دولار أمريكي؟ اقرأ شروط الجائزة!

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    1. OK, John, now you're just messing with me. I have no idea what this says, but I hope you didn't just sick the Bahrain government on me...

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    2. Oops.. Meant "sic" not "sick," of course. Faulty proofreader at work.

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  14. Sherry: I just translated the above post and I'm thinking you should remove it immediately. 500 Cats are to be delivered to your home this evening! Happy New Year! Let's try to get together soon!

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    1. Toni: I stopped at the post office today and provided a forwarding address for my mail. You should expect a special delivery this evening. (Don't leave them waiting outside too long in this cold!) You can thank me when we get together for drinks.

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  15. This reminds me of the woman who took her husband to couples therapy because he was too quiet. "How did it go at therapy?" The woman's friend asked. "The therapist finally got him to talk," "And?" said the friend. "I didn't like what he said." (Sherry--But I'm sure your readers will have wonderful things to say :) )

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    1. Lisa: Ha! Fortunately, my readers' comments are wonderful (as are my readers themselves).

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  16. I'll have you know that I cleaned the litter box right before coming here. So obviously, reading your blog is like the icing on the cake. :) Happy delurking....I think I'm afraid if I do this, I'll get more input along the lines of: "I read your book. Let me be frank..."

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    1. Laura: Speaking of that, I DID read your book. Let me be frank... It was one of the best books I read in all of 2011! I suggest everyone else check it out:

      http://www.amazon.com/Living-Arrangements-Stories-Laura-Walter/dp/1886157804

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  17. I just lurk really loudly. ;)

    By the way, I must've found myself here through another blogroll at some stage. I don't remember, exactly.

    ~Ashlee
    http://ashleesch.com
    http://theDragonsHoard.bigcartel.com

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    1. Ashlee: So glad you decided to delurk earlier this fall! I think you may have found me through Erika Marks' blogroll?

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  18. hi there pooky. happy new year. xo nikki

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    1. Nikki: Ah, great to hear from you, Nik! Still owe you a big thanks--I'm certain many of my new readers lurking out there are due to the blog link you shared on your fabulous FB page last summer!

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  19. Yes! Definitely technical difficulties when I try to comment from work, but here I am at home and I can comment just fine.

    Re #2, white or red?

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  20. Averil: I'd love to blame this on someone in your office, but it appears a few other people are having technical difficulties too. (Some folks said they weren't able to post at all, and others had to hit "Publish" a couple times. Damn Blogger program!) As far as wine, I'd drink Mad Dog 20/20 as long as you showed up here in person with it...

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  21. My chronically irritable cat is staring at me as I type this. She wants to know why in the hell George Clooney is Googling is cat peeing in the bathtub unhygienic? He should know that it is, of course perfectly hygienic. Duh.

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    1. Lisa: Clooney and I have an understanding: No cats in the bathtub, and no pot-bellied pigs in our bed.

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