Monday, October 7, 2013

A Match Made in Hell

A month and a half into my online dating experience, and still no prospects on Match.com. In case anyone thinks I'm being too picky, here are a few unaltered snippets from the profiles of men who have recently viewed or liked my profile:

"some ne that free trustworthy truthful one woman man willing to take a chance again on life willing to share their life with movie dinning out have fun fishing camping walking in the park fle market watching the sunset not over weight good nature woman"

"realy dont know what to say never done this befor wasaired foe 25 yares she died 2 years ago like to go to dirt track races and camping but bean a long time cence i non that and out and listin to music sometimes"

"looking for a casual relationship at this time wanting to have lots of fun sharing things. having great sex together would be wonderful...looking for a friend with benifits type relationship"

OK, yes, I may be a grammar and spelling Nazi, but really? And the third guy, who mentions at least three times in his profile that he's looking for great sex, doesn't include a photo. His profile says he's "recently separated." I think what he means is, "momentarily separated; I'm in the living room and my wife is in the bedroom."

If any of these are going to work, I will clearly have to learn to speak a different language, form a friendship with "benifits" or take up camping.

I never thought camping would sound like the lesser of any evils.

But if I go camping with any of these guys, I'll require lots of s'mores. And even s'more beer.


Am I being too choosy? Could camping offer any benefits, even if you're with a friend with benefits? Anyone care to take a red pen to these profiles?

7 comments:

  1. I think I'd rather have a Brazilian............

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    1. Yes, Downith, it sounds far less painful, eh?

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  2. Sherry, I am a big fan of camping HOWEVER not everything is made better with s'mores. (I can't believe I typed that!)

    And no, you are not being too choosy. Not one bit, my dear! Just because you put yourself out there doesn't mean you are obliged to dance. Just saying.

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    1. Erika: Well, everything is probably made a BIT better with s'mores--but some things can't be stomached no matter what. Right now, I'm shuddering more than I'm dancing...

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  3. You are one courageous woman, Sherry! Keep that critical eye honed. It's really just a matter of finding that one special person who can keep up with the likes of YOU!!!!

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