Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Top Ten Things I Am Thankful for This Year

After my six months of new experiences, I am very thankful that:

  • My belly-dancing lessons didn’t end in a public recital.
  • I didn’t happen to run into either of my two sons—or my mother—when I visited an adult bookstore.
  • I didn’t get called back after my “Survivor” audition because, let’s be honest: How long could I possibly have survived?
  • No video exists of my Brazilian wax.
  • I was the person taking a homeless woman to lunch, and not the other way around. So, so thankful for all the blessings in my life.
  • My police patrol ride-a-long and SWAT team raid ended with a chocolate doughnut—and not a bullet—in my stomach.
  • The sweet Sisters at the convent never held a pre-visit conference call with the nuns who taught me at St. Patrick of Heatherdowns Grade School.
  • I didn’t crash to my death, while puking on a crowd of tourists below, when I zip-lined.
  • My dreaded colonoscopy was much a doo-doo about nothing.
  • Baring it all at the nude beach was likely the most humiliating moment of my life. It should all be smooth coasting from here, yes?

Happy Thanksgiving, my friends.

What are you thankful for in your life? What are you thankful that I've done--and you didn't?


  1. I'm grateful that you allowed me to share the Brazilian and Nude Beach while sitting fully clothed several hundred miles away.

    I'm grateful I met you face-to-face this year. 'Cause you seriously rock, lady. :D

    1. I'm thankful for our mutual admiration society! Happy Thanksgiving, Sarah!