Early last week: I stare, slack-jawed, at my exam schedule. What the hell is this on the list? I never attended a class by this name! I don't even remember ever registering for it! I missed a freakin' class the whole semester, and now my final grade depends on my passing the exam?
The exam location is mysteriously not listed on the schedule. I rush to the office.
The entire football team is in line in front of me. My exam starts in five minutes.
My panic mounts. Perhaps I have a copy of my original classroom schedule in my locker. But wait... what is my locker combination? Six, thirteen, twenty-one? No, thirty-six, twenty-four, thirty-six? Shit. I can't remember. In fact, I can't even remember where my locker is located.
I am so, so screwed.
Yet this fiasco is nothing compared to the events of last weekend.
Mother nature calls, with a violent urgency. I scramble to the nearest commode, yank down my pants and sigh with relief.
Then I glance up to see a crowd of people surrounding me--all studying me at the most personal of moments, while I'm seated on a toilet which I now realize is strangely situated in the middle of a very large, very public lobby.
I jump up and run, discovering too late that my pants are still down.
And don't even get me started on yesterday, when my doctor informed me I am... *gasp* pregnant!
Fortunately, before I endure any additional stretch marks, I wake up.
Not sure what Freud would say, but I'm guessing he'd have a word or two about my pitiful subconscious.
So, have any interesting dreams lately?