Early last week: I stare, slack-jawed, at my exam schedule. What the hell is this on the list? I never attended a class by this name! I don't even remember ever registering for it! I missed a freakin' class the whole semester, and now my final grade depends on my passing the exam?
The exam location is mysteriously not listed on the schedule. I rush to the office.
The entire football team is in line in front of me. My exam starts in five minutes.
My panic mounts. Perhaps I have a copy of my original classroom schedule in my locker. But wait... what is my locker combination? Six, thirteen, twenty-one? No, thirty-six, twenty-four, thirty-six? Shit. I can't remember. In fact, I can't even remember where my locker is located.
I am so, so screwed.
Yet this fiasco is nothing compared to the events of last weekend.
Mother nature calls, with a violent urgency. I scramble to the nearest commode, yank down my pants and sigh with relief.
Then I glance up to see a crowd of people surrounding me--all studying me at the most personal of moments, while I'm seated on a toilet which I now realize is strangely situated in the middle of a very large, very public lobby.
I jump up and run, discovering too late that my pants are still down.
And don't even get me started on yesterday, when my doctor informed me I am... *gasp* pregnant!
Fortunately, before I endure any additional stretch marks, I wake up.
Not sure what Freud would say, but I'm guessing he'd have a word or two about my pitiful subconscious.
So, have any interesting dreams lately?
very interesting. I share 2 out of 3 of these (never had the pregnant dream. or nightmare.) add the tornado which is constantly chasing me and the dozens of black cats roaming around my house--while I try to figure out which ones are Percy and Faith.
ReplyDeleteHa--I have the Sea of Cats dream all the time too. I usually end up adopting them all. Just like in real life.
ReplyDeleteOMG - I have nearly the EXACT same dreams/nightmares re the final exam and having to pee!! And they stress me out every time. You'd think my subconscious would've figured out by now that they're only dreams... (but then again, it's my subconscious, so that's unlikely).
ReplyDeleteAs for WWFS, I think the first one deals with feelings of being overwhelmed, overworked, and stressed about deadlines looming. I haven't figured out the second one yet. Maybe you just drank too much water (or wine) before bed?? :-)
Kris: Seriously, the pee dream too? Wow, that kinda makes me feel better. Do you also have the dream where you see the entire Kennedy family at an airport, but suddenly they're not the Kennedys after all, they're the Von Trapps of The Sound of Music fame, and Marta and you are BFF's? (I think I had lots of wine that particular night.)
ReplyDeleteHi Sherry, John Koch sent me!
ReplyDeleteMan, even 30+ years down the road, I still have the Exams are Today and I Haven't Been To Class in Months Dream. The Pee Dream? Not so much but there are many in which I am inadequately clothed for my surroundings.
I also have DC's tornado dream at least a couple times a year, in which I'm trying to get away from a tornado but I can no longer run, so I have to gallop on all fours like a dog. Even Freud would say, "WTF"?
bluzdude: I'll bet Freud said WTF more often than we think!
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by the blog. You have some pretty interesting stuff over on yours--I've added you to my favorites!